It’s been just about a week of shit getting real. And when shit gets real people get vulnerable. 

Now it’s no secret that I thriiiivveee in a vulnerable setting. I get a natural high off of opening up that side of people and sharing that side myself. Usually, a vulnerable moment is just a moment and then you move forward. But what about a vulnerable time? More than just a moment but still not forever. An extended moment i guess? WELL, anyways. I am living in this vulnerable time with the rest of the world and it is rekindling flames, emotions, and love. — notice that I didn’t say romance. This by far is no time for romance and swooning (@ everyone on dating apps right now). Although, it most definitely is a time for us to be a bit more freeing of emotions and thoughts that we maybe have been sitting on. It’s a time for us to remind everyone who has once played an important role in our life that they still hold some residency in our heart (even if they wished they didn't haha).

I recently reconnected with THE Ex. You know, that ex that took the most of you but also gave you the most memories. We don’t ever fully let go of those. — and take that lightly.
Just about a week ago I was in the mecca of music shops in San Francisco. I was instantly inclined to send a photo to my arrow because vinyl shops were our thing. We would spend hours at the pocket-sized record store in Oneonta every time he came to visit. I could only imagine the damage we would do in this shop. So, me being me, I sent a photo. He responded with a question and that led to a night of conversation. We caught up and we laughed. We shared our growth that came of the last 6 years. We were honest and fearless of emotion.

It has been (almost) one week since that conversation and here I am writing this at 2:30am, following an evening of sharing playlists and suggestions to stay mentally intact. My arrow was always a safe space for me when we were together. Tonight I found that safe space again just in a new way. The feeling of a warm heart and relaxed anxiety that used to come through a tight hug with his arms around me, instead came from the comfort of his words and virtual company.

This isn’t the end of time but it’s the end of A time. I don’t want to take away from the reality of the matter by going all spiritual but personally it’s what I need and you might need it too. 
We recently entered a new decade and although it’s been everything but the glamourous “new year, new decade, new me” that we all captioned in our photos, it still, most definitely, is a “new year, new decade, new us”. We all set out for newness with every change of year. with this one being a change of decade as an addition, we vowed to 10 years worth of newness. So, here we are. In this moment in time that is allowing us to hit the refresh button and get ready for the next 10 years. This can be a curse and a blessing from the universe all at the same time. Take advantage of it. Soak in your thoughts, soak in your emotions. Open up your heart again to your past so it can catch up to the present and you can finally move forward with peace. Because I think peace is what we have all been missing lately. peace of mind specifically.

Sometimes we find comfort in the most unexpected places. Don’t be afraid to explore those places OR re-explore those places. But if or when you choose to, you must do it with an open mind and an open heart. Take it with a grain of salt though. This isn’t a doorway back to a home in the past but it’s a doorway to moving forward with peace.