Well. It’s official. I’m going through a heart break. And no. Not just an “I was so infatuated for a period of time and now he’s screwing me over” type heart break. I’m going through the heart break of accepting. Accepting that some things just can’t be. Coming across a connection that is so raw is not common. It comes with transparency, a type of honesty that isn’t easy to communicate. It comes with powerful emotion, the feelings that aren’t always possible to explain but are shared between the two people enough to understand them, even in pure silence. It comes with support, the kind where that person is a piece of your backbone so naturally as if they were there all along. It comes with laughter, the kind that makes your body weak and your abs sore because you share the same type of humor that gets you through the shitty moments in life. It comes with endless conversation, the kind of company that doesn't ever get boring. It just keeps on going and going until 5 minutes turns into 5 hours but you didn’t feel one single second of it. It comes with an undeniable attraction, not just of the body but of the mind. You’re drawn into them physically because of how deep they move into you mentally. 

I don't settle for conventional love. It’s not for me. I doesn’t excite me and I will only hurt the person in the conventional love that I’m in because I will always search for more. The type of love that I desire is the one that I feel in my gut. The one that within 5 minutes of meeting him, I’m already admiring his smile, the way his eyes sparkle and how his hands will feel around my waist. I’m picking up on the little things about him that make him unique and will capture my heart in time. I’m not saying that I go for instant love. by no means is it a cup of mac and cheese that you put in the microwave for 3 minutes and comes out tasting like heaven on your taste buds. But it’s instant in the sense of that raw connection. You know when you’ve captured it. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you have yet to experience it. I hope that you give yourself the chance to though. I hope that you allow yourself to be alone long enough to come across this person when the universe sends them.