It’s only 1:28 in the afternoon and the tears are already being fought off. Why though? Why am i trying to fight the tears when i can just let them fall and then be over it? I’m not afraid of crying. I actually enjoy it. It’s the advice that i give people all of the time because i know how much of a release it is. I say “you just gotta feel it. Just embrace the sadness”. So, why do I feel like i can’t be sad or upset some days?

I feel guilty for it. I just don’t know how to validate myself being sad. It’s like, i feel like i don’t deserve it or something. Do you ever feel that? Like when your mind catches you upset and is like “yea you’ve got it rough right now but overall you have it good, so you need to appreciate that” and then you just talk yourself into thinking about all of the things that you’re grateful for and how it could be worse. And then you begin to feel shitty about feeling sad over whatever it is you're sad over. Why do we do that though? Why do we hold ourselves back from feeling natural emotions? We all deserve to be sad sometimes. No matter how big or small the problem is, it’s what matters to us in that moment and we should be allowed to embrace that sadness.

And side note: No one said that we couldn’t..

On another note

Do you ever talk yourself out of sadness because you don’t feel you can communicate your sadness well? Or at least well enough to be understood? Because i for sure do that! lol and when we do that we just allow ourselves to feel lonely when we don’t need to be. We have plenty of family and friends that we could vent the ears off of. We could just turn to one of them in hope that we’ll be able to communicate what we’re feeling well enough for them to know how to comfort us but instead, we just talk ourselves into all of the reasons to be happy. 

And, is there a difference between being vulnerable to people and being weak in front of people? Like i know how to be vulnerable with someone but i don’t know how to show weakness.

It’s like i don’t want people or someone to think that i can’t handle something.

anybody?